Q. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Amberlyn Jade on June 17, 2011. My husband and I made the decision long before I gave birth that we wanted to have time to bond with our little one and get settled at home before accepting family and friends to come and see her.
We got home on June 20th and his mother was sitting in our driveway waiting for us. Apparently she had called the hospital because my husband and I had shut our phones off, and the hospital told her I'd been discharged. My husband got out of the car and told her she needed to leave and wait for us to call. My MIL told him she wasnât leaving without her grandbaby because she wanted to take her and show her off to her friends. My husband told her under no circumstances would ANYONE touch OUR daughter unless we were present. This made her cry, and she finally left. We went in the house and got settled in with our LO. After a week had passed, my husband and I felt we were ready to share our daughter with family, and I called my mother and he called his and told them they could come over. When my MIL arrived, I was sitting in the living room with my princess asleep in my arms, and my MIL walked straight in and took her out of my arms and started kissing her face and bouncing her up and down and rocking her. She didnât even wash her hands before she stuck her finger in her mouth and started saying, âOh your my precious baby Iâm gonna take you home for the weekend and buy you toys, I have your crib all set upâ, and all this other sh!t that pissed me off. My baby was screaming (she had woken her up) but my MIL said âOh your mommy doesnât know how to take care of you like I do.â My husband grabbed our daughter and took her to the nursery to calm her down and I told my MIL she needed to leave and she wasnât allowed back. She told me I was a bad mother for trying to keep her grandbaby away from her and that I didnât know how to be a mom. I told her to get out, and she left but she kept making rude comments. My mother showed up about 15 minutes later, and I had no problem letting her hold Amberlyn, because she washed her hands and waited till I handed her over. I told my mother what had happened and she told me not to pay her any attention, and that I was a great mother because I was being very careful with my daughterâs health and well-being. My family has all been over to see her, and they respect my husband and I enough to wash their hands before they hold her, they donât smoke before they come, they give her back if she starts to cry and they donât pass her around, they ask us if we mind if someone else holds her first. My husband and I really appreciate how supportive my family is being, but my husbandâs family has refused to come over, even though weâve invited them, including his mother back, as long as they follow our rules. His mother calls him every day and tells him that Iâm a bad mother because I wonât let her take my daughter out. Um, hello, sheâs barely is a month old, there is NO way in hell my daughter is going anywhere without her mother. She tells my husband that Iâm a selfish and inconsiderate mother who has postpartum depression and should be in rehab and to let her take care of our baby until Iâm âbetter.â
Iâve been letting the insults roll off my back, but last night his mother showed up at our house and my husband let her in. I was in the nursery breastfeeding my daughter and she just barged in and told me I needed to get done because she was gonna take the baby out and bring her back in the morning after she had time to spend with her. She said I was a horrible mother and should be locked up for âdepriving her of her rights as a grandma to take her grandchild out and have her spend the nightâ
Am I a bad mother? Did you let grandparents take your newborn out? Did you let them have stay over at their grandparents house? Am I just overreacting to this? I know that new moms are overprotective, but am I taking it too far? Iâm scared my little girl is gonna lose out on having both sets of grandparents. I donât want Amberlyn to resent me for not letting her be close to her grandma :( What do I do? Iâm so confused and my husband doesnât think itâs a big deal but I do :( I grew up with a very close and loving family and I want the same for her, but if all my MIL is gonna do is call me a bad mother should I just ignore that side of the family?
We got home on June 20th and his mother was sitting in our driveway waiting for us. Apparently she had called the hospital because my husband and I had shut our phones off, and the hospital told her I'd been discharged. My husband got out of the car and told her she needed to leave and wait for us to call. My MIL told him she wasnât leaving without her grandbaby because she wanted to take her and show her off to her friends. My husband told her under no circumstances would ANYONE touch OUR daughter unless we were present. This made her cry, and she finally left. We went in the house and got settled in with our LO. After a week had passed, my husband and I felt we were ready to share our daughter with family, and I called my mother and he called his and told them they could come over. When my MIL arrived, I was sitting in the living room with my princess asleep in my arms, and my MIL walked straight in and took her out of my arms and started kissing her face and bouncing her up and down and rocking her. She didnât even wash her hands before she stuck her finger in her mouth and started saying, âOh your my precious baby Iâm gonna take you home for the weekend and buy you toys, I have your crib all set upâ, and all this other sh!t that pissed me off. My baby was screaming (she had woken her up) but my MIL said âOh your mommy doesnât know how to take care of you like I do.â My husband grabbed our daughter and took her to the nursery to calm her down and I told my MIL she needed to leave and she wasnât allowed back. She told me I was a bad mother for trying to keep her grandbaby away from her and that I didnât know how to be a mom. I told her to get out, and she left but she kept making rude comments. My mother showed up about 15 minutes later, and I had no problem letting her hold Amberlyn, because she washed her hands and waited till I handed her over. I told my mother what had happened and she told me not to pay her any attention, and that I was a great mother because I was being very careful with my daughterâs health and well-being. My family has all been over to see her, and they respect my husband and I enough to wash their hands before they hold her, they donât smoke before they come, they give her back if she starts to cry and they donât pass her around, they ask us if we mind if someone else holds her first. My husband and I really appreciate how supportive my family is being, but my husbandâs family has refused to come over, even though weâve invited them, including his mother back, as long as they follow our rules. His mother calls him every day and tells him that Iâm a bad mother because I wonât let her take my daughter out. Um, hello, sheâs barely is a month old, there is NO way in hell my daughter is going anywhere without her mother. She tells my husband that Iâm a selfish and inconsiderate mother who has postpartum depression and should be in rehab and to let her take care of our baby until Iâm âbetter.â
Iâve been letting the insults roll off my back, but last night his mother showed up at our house and my husband let her in. I was in the nursery breastfeeding my daughter and she just barged in and told me I needed to get done because she was gonna take the baby out and bring her back in the morning after she had time to spend with her. She said I was a horrible mother and should be locked up for âdepriving her of her rights as a grandma to take her grandchild out and have her spend the nightâ
Am I a bad mother? Did you let grandparents take your newborn out? Did you let them have stay over at their grandparents house? Am I just overreacting to this? I know that new moms are overprotective, but am I taking it too far? Iâm scared my little girl is gonna lose out on having both sets of grandparents. I donât want Amberlyn to resent me for not letting her be close to her grandma :( What do I do? Iâm so confused and my husband doesnât think itâs a big deal but I do :( I grew up with a very close and loving family and I want the same for her, but if all my MIL is gonna do is call me a bad mother should I just ignore that side of the family?
Answer
You are NOT a bad mom, your MIL is crazy and if she is going to keep acting like this then the best thing you can do is keep your daughter away from her (if she won't respect your wishes in your own home, lord only knows what would happen if she had the baby for a few hours). My daughter is 5 1/2 weeks old and I have not let her go anywhere without me. The only time I left her was for 5 minutes with my mother while I went to get my mail, and that was only this past weekend. I will not be letting her spend weekends with my mom or MIL anytime soon which is especially hard for my MIL to understand because my stepson is with her every weekend. And the others are right about breastfeeding - At this age, it is absolutely detrimental that you feed on demand.
You are NOT a bad mom, your MIL is crazy and if she is going to keep acting like this then the best thing you can do is keep your daughter away from her (if she won't respect your wishes in your own home, lord only knows what would happen if she had the baby for a few hours). My daughter is 5 1/2 weeks old and I have not let her go anywhere without me. The only time I left her was for 5 minutes with my mother while I went to get my mail, and that was only this past weekend. I will not be letting her spend weekends with my mom or MIL anytime soon which is especially hard for my MIL to understand because my stepson is with her every weekend. And the others are right about breastfeeding - At this age, it is absolutely detrimental that you feed on demand.
will a nissan rogue fit three car seats?
raeann k
I have a 6 and 5 year old in two booster seats and just found out i'm expecting.. Will a 2011 Nissan Rogue fit 2 boosters and an infant car seat comfortably or should i start looking around for something bigger
Answer
Congratulations!
It totally depends on what seats your children will be riding in and in what positions.
Many parents have successfully installed three car seats across as shown here: http://www.car-seat.org/showthread.php?t=33226
I would look into the Chicco Key Fit 30 infant car seat as it is typically narrower than other infant car seats. Usually the KeyFit works best when installed in the center. Another option is using a convertible car seat straight from birth. Look at the lowest bottom slots measuring about 8 inches or less to ensure the harness straps can be adjusted at or below the baby's shoulders.
The Diono Radian is the narrowest car seat on the market that measures about 14" across the thighs and 17" wide at the shoulders. It is typically outgrown around age 3-5 rear facing and another two to three years forward facing. This means that it will be the last harnessed car seat your child will need. It is spendy, but it is indeed worth it. The Radian R100 can typically be found on sale on amazon for around $207: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=diono+radian+r100
A newborn needs their car seat in at at a 45 degree angle to keep their airway open and the Radian does take up a ton of front to back space in the vehicle. You could try installing it in the center seat and have the top part of the Radian fan between the two front vehicle seats. Or you could have the Radian installed behind the passenger seat, but have no one sit in the front passenger seat until your baby gets some head control. When your infant is older, you can always used the angle adjuster by Diono to get the seat more upright.
You can always use the Chicco KeyFit 30 then get the Diono Radian later so you don't have to eat the dashboard. It is completely up to you =]
But I have to warn you- boosters can be difficult to buckle in a three across situation. You might get some scraped knuckles, but it is indeed do-able.
Also, if you do install in the outboard seating position for the infant seat, installing with the seat belt generally gives you more room. When installing it with the seat belt, the car seat can be scooted closer to the door. The seat just needs to be installed with less than an inch of movement. The KeyFit 30 has a built in lock-off to aid seat belt installs.
My best advice for you is to go to Toys R Us and try out car seats and different combinations. If you are installing a car seat in the center position in the back seat, LATCH cannot be used as they aren't reinforced in the center (unless your vehicle manual says specifically that they can be used in the center). The lower anchors on the side seating positions are connected by a metal bar; this is (usually) not found in the center.
Congratulations!
It totally depends on what seats your children will be riding in and in what positions.
Many parents have successfully installed three car seats across as shown here: http://www.car-seat.org/showthread.php?t=33226
I would look into the Chicco Key Fit 30 infant car seat as it is typically narrower than other infant car seats. Usually the KeyFit works best when installed in the center. Another option is using a convertible car seat straight from birth. Look at the lowest bottom slots measuring about 8 inches or less to ensure the harness straps can be adjusted at or below the baby's shoulders.
The Diono Radian is the narrowest car seat on the market that measures about 14" across the thighs and 17" wide at the shoulders. It is typically outgrown around age 3-5 rear facing and another two to three years forward facing. This means that it will be the last harnessed car seat your child will need. It is spendy, but it is indeed worth it. The Radian R100 can typically be found on sale on amazon for around $207: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=diono+radian+r100
A newborn needs their car seat in at at a 45 degree angle to keep their airway open and the Radian does take up a ton of front to back space in the vehicle. You could try installing it in the center seat and have the top part of the Radian fan between the two front vehicle seats. Or you could have the Radian installed behind the passenger seat, but have no one sit in the front passenger seat until your baby gets some head control. When your infant is older, you can always used the angle adjuster by Diono to get the seat more upright.
You can always use the Chicco KeyFit 30 then get the Diono Radian later so you don't have to eat the dashboard. It is completely up to you =]
But I have to warn you- boosters can be difficult to buckle in a three across situation. You might get some scraped knuckles, but it is indeed do-able.
Also, if you do install in the outboard seating position for the infant seat, installing with the seat belt generally gives you more room. When installing it with the seat belt, the car seat can be scooted closer to the door. The seat just needs to be installed with less than an inch of movement. The KeyFit 30 has a built in lock-off to aid seat belt installs.
My best advice for you is to go to Toys R Us and try out car seats and different combinations. If you are installing a car seat in the center position in the back seat, LATCH cannot be used as they aren't reinforced in the center (unless your vehicle manual says specifically that they can be used in the center). The lower anchors on the side seating positions are connected by a metal bar; this is (usually) not found in the center.
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