How do I deal with people hyper-genderizing about my baby?

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Crane

I recently attended a party with my five month old daughter, and the other guests could not stop talking about what an extreme "girl" she was. It was fine at first - I mean, yes, she IS a girl - but it got to the point where no one was mentioning anything else. "What a girl she is! No one would mistake her for a boy! Look at those petite shoulders! Look at that face!" This went on and on. Worse, when she started touching the arm of another baby - a boy, who didn't mind, nor did his mother - others started saying, "What a forward female! Watch out for her!" I am confident that my daughter was NOT touching the boy out of any romantic feeling; she shows similar interest in little girls.

I just smiled through most of this, occasionally acknowledging, "Yes, she is a girl," but as she gets older, I don't want her to think that her primary characteristic is that of being a stereotypical "girl." How could I defuse this in future situations?

Answer
I know exactly what you mean!

I don't have any biological children, but hyper-gendered speech and actions to the children I care for (as a foster carer) is so strong at times that I dress all the newborns and small babies in neutral clothes and just say "I can't say the gender...". (We have had to hide children's gender before if they had a parent who was violent and prone to tracking their children down).

You could start with more neutral clothing.

What all your friends are doing is- unknowingly- reinforcing the stereotypes of femininity that society has taught us. There's not much to do about it, except maybe dressing your girl in the "boy's" clothes occasionally (or at least around these people) and giving her a mix of "boy" and "girl" toys. Which isn't a bad idea anyway.

Here's some common misconceptions about gender-neutral parenting, maybe it'll give you some ideas.
http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2011/06/10-myths-about-gender-neutral-parenting/

What are good songs to sing at an audition?

gabby

I don't have a big broadway voice but I can sing decently. I'm a alto I can't reach higher notes just yet. I'm auditioning for a musical, Hairspray so I don't know what to sing. Any ideas would be much appreicately! Thank You!!

Answer
HAIRSPRAY is in a special class. The musical is based on 1960's music the "Downtown" type Rhythm and Blues. The San Francisco sound and the MOTOWN style of music. The advice of "Use a song from a Musical to audition FOR a Musical" (especially if it's from Hairspray) is WRONG and NOT POSSIBLE since there were NO MUSICALS during the 1960's that used the only kind of music that ‘WORKS" for an audition for Hairspray

Even though the MOVIE came out in 1988 and the MUSICAL didn't hit Broadway until 2007 as a "Juke Box Musical" , The main emphasis is on UP TEMPO songs FROM THE 1960's , so Here is just a short list of songs, ALL are from the ‘Golden Era' of 1960 to 1970 that make good FEMALE SOLOS for Hairspray Auditions in 2011. You can just change the pronouns if necessary without changing the meaning of the lyrics



1,2 3.. Len Barry
A BEAUTIFUL MORNING.. The Rascals
A BOY LIKE THAT.. West Side Story
A HAZY SHADE OF WINTER.. Simon and Garfunkle
A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART.. Jackie DeShannon
A LOVER'S CONCERTO.. Toys
A NATURAL WOMEN.. Aretha Franklin
A SIGN OF THE TIMES... Petula Clark
AND WHEN I DIE... Blood, Sweat and Tears
ANGEL OF THE MORNING.. Merrilee Rush
BABY IT'S YOU.. Smith
BACK IN MY ARMS AGAIN.., Diana Ross
BE MY BABY.. The Ronnettes
BITS AND PIECES.. Dave Clark 5
BOTH SIDES NOW... Judy Collins
CALL ME... Chris Montez
CHAIN OF FOOLS... Aretha Franklin
CHAPEL OF LOVE.. Dixie Cups
DANCING IN THE STREET. Martha Reeves
DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE.. The Shirelles
DEVIL WITH A BLUE DRESS ON.. Mitch Ryder
DO I LOVE YOU.. Ronnettes
DON'T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY... Petula Clark
EIGHT DAYS A WEEK.. The Beatles
EVERY DAY PEOPLE.. Sly and the Family
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH.. Dusty Springfield
GOLDFINGER.. Shirley Bassey
HARPER VALLEY P.T.A. Jeannie C. Riley
HE'S A REBEL.. The Crystals
HEAT WAVE.. Martha and the Vandellas
HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU.. Mrrvin Gaye
I HEARD IT ON THE GRAPEVINE.. Marvin Gaye
I SECOND THAT EMOTION.. Smoky Robinson
I THANK YOU.. Sam and Dave
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU LOVE ME.. Diana Ross
IT'S MY PARTY.. Leslie Gore
LEAVING ON A JET PLANE.. Peter, Paul & Mary
LET'S HAVE A PARTY.. Wanda Jackson
LILY THE PINK.. Scaffold
LITTLE ARROWS.. Leapy Lee
LOVE CHILD.. Diana Ross
MAYBE I KNOW... Leslie Gore
MY BOY LOLLYPOP.. Millie Small
MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK.. The Angels
MY LOVE.. Petula Clark
NA NA HEY HEY KISS HIM GOODBYE.. Steam
PICKIN' WILD MOUNTAIN BERRIES.. Peggy Scott
PROMISES, PROMISES.. Promises, Promises
PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART.. Jackie Deshanon
REMEMBER (WALKING IN THE SAND) Shangri-Las
RESCUE ME.... Fontella Bass
SAN FRANCISCO... Scott McKenzie
SEE SAW.. Aretha Franklin
SNOOPY VS THE RED BARON.. The Royal Guardsmen
SON OF A PREACHER MAN.. Dusty Springfield
SPINNING WHEEL.. Blook, Sweat and Tears
SUNNY... Bobby Hebb
SUNNY AFTERNOON... The Kinks
SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPSAND RAINBOWS. Lesley Gore
THE CLAPPING SONG.. Because of Winn Dixie
THE HAPPENING.. Diana Ross
THE SHOOP, SHOOP SONG.. Betty Everett
THE WEIGHT... The Band
THINK.. Aretha Franklin
THIS MAGIC MOMENT.. Jay and America
THESE BOOTS MADE FOR WALKING.. Nancy Sinatra
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.. Mary Hopkin
TOSSIN' AND TURNIN'... Bobby Lewis
VENUS... Shocking Blue
WEDDING BELL BLUES.. Fifth Dimension
WHERE DID LOVE GO.. Diana Ross
WISHIN' AND HOPIN'.. Dusty Springfield
WONDERFUL WORLD.. Herman's Hermits
YOU KEEP ME HANGIN' ON.. Diana Ross
YOU WERE ON MY MIND.. We Five
YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY.. Ohio Express

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