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We are having a son soon and I don't want him circumcised. My husband does, but I think he's given up arguing with me because he knows I firmly believe routine infant circumcision is bad and I wouldn't stand for anyone to do that to our son. The problem is that my husband was circumcised as a baby and now he thinks I hate his penis because I don't want our son circumcised. I have used such words as "mutilation" and "abuse" to describe circumcision. He thinks that I think he is inadequate now and not good enough for me and less of a man. I love my husband (and his penis) and I hate that he thinks these things! What can I say/do to help him realize I don't hate his penis just because I want my son to have the opportunity to make his own decision regarding his foreskin??
I've told him, he just doesn't believe me..... :-/
Answer
Your situation is very common. It's called Adamant Father Syndrome. The best thing you could do is show him videos of it being done. I was almost in the same situation as you, but made him change his mind. I told him the truth about circumcision - they cut off 20,000 nerve endings and in comparison a clitoris has 8,000. The ridged band in the tip of the foreskin has 10-12,000 nerve endings, and in that sense is the male equivalent of a clitoris. In a circumcision it must be cut through before being removed. Back then they didn't know as much about circumcision as they do now. Back then parents had that excuse that they didn't know, but these days that's different. These days they've mapped the penis sensitivity, counted the nerve endings under a microscope, they've had infants monitored for heartrate, cortisol (stress hormone), blood oxygen saturation level and screaming with various painkillers and have come to the conclusion circumcision is indeed the most pain a human being can go through and the pain alone makes it very dangerous (on top of bleeding - hypovolemic shock is very common) for babies.
Back then circumcision was the majority. These days intact is the majority. Back then people thought circumcision is cleaner, these days they know intact is cleaner. And back then most parents had never seen a circumcision being done and they didn't know what it involves. Back then they used to think you had to retract an intact boy's foreskin, which brought about a lot of problems with infection and phimosis and balanitis. These days they know and teach parents (well if their knowledge is up to date) never, ever retract and only clean what you see.
Times have changed, and you don't look at your son sexually, you're thinking about him among his peers.
http://www.noharmm.org/appeal.htm An appeal to new fathers
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/circumcision-will-you-make-cut.html
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/patricia.html As you can see, she was told it was healthy and painless. These days they know better.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/fatherson-matching-penises-stop.html father/son matching penises
http://www.circumcision.org/others.htm circumcision to look like others
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/cut-vs-intact-outcome-statistics.html cut vs intact outcome statistics
At the end of the day, he needs to start thinking like a father. Considering the different generational differences, and what is known about circumcision, he needs to understand that his responsibility is to your son, and to protect him, and keep up-to-date with knowledge about baby care. Like back then, they used to tell women almost how not to breastfeed successfully, hence many women failed and resorted to bottle-feeding. Does he intend to make you follow the same advise as his mother? Back then they weaned babies onto solids at 4 months old. Now they know better and have realized that before 6 months can really affect the body permanently (and many adults ARE suffering the affects). Does he intend on making you feed him at 4 months old? Back then they thought it kept babies happy to be surrounded by toys in the crib. Now they know that is often fatal. Does he intend on making sure your son is surrounded by teddy bears just like many people used to? The bottom line is that some things are different. Circumcision is one of them.
Put simply, you not putting your baby boy through the pain and trauma has NOTHING to do with your husband's penis. It's not about hang-ups or sexual preferences, it's about good PARENTING.
Your situation is very common. It's called Adamant Father Syndrome. The best thing you could do is show him videos of it being done. I was almost in the same situation as you, but made him change his mind. I told him the truth about circumcision - they cut off 20,000 nerve endings and in comparison a clitoris has 8,000. The ridged band in the tip of the foreskin has 10-12,000 nerve endings, and in that sense is the male equivalent of a clitoris. In a circumcision it must be cut through before being removed. Back then they didn't know as much about circumcision as they do now. Back then parents had that excuse that they didn't know, but these days that's different. These days they've mapped the penis sensitivity, counted the nerve endings under a microscope, they've had infants monitored for heartrate, cortisol (stress hormone), blood oxygen saturation level and screaming with various painkillers and have come to the conclusion circumcision is indeed the most pain a human being can go through and the pain alone makes it very dangerous (on top of bleeding - hypovolemic shock is very common) for babies.
Back then circumcision was the majority. These days intact is the majority. Back then people thought circumcision is cleaner, these days they know intact is cleaner. And back then most parents had never seen a circumcision being done and they didn't know what it involves. Back then they used to think you had to retract an intact boy's foreskin, which brought about a lot of problems with infection and phimosis and balanitis. These days they know and teach parents (well if their knowledge is up to date) never, ever retract and only clean what you see.
Times have changed, and you don't look at your son sexually, you're thinking about him among his peers.
http://www.noharmm.org/appeal.htm An appeal to new fathers
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/circumcision-will-you-make-cut.html
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/patricia.html As you can see, she was told it was healthy and painless. These days they know better.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/fatherson-matching-penises-stop.html father/son matching penises
http://www.circumcision.org/others.htm circumcision to look like others
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/cut-vs-intact-outcome-statistics.html cut vs intact outcome statistics
At the end of the day, he needs to start thinking like a father. Considering the different generational differences, and what is known about circumcision, he needs to understand that his responsibility is to your son, and to protect him, and keep up-to-date with knowledge about baby care. Like back then, they used to tell women almost how not to breastfeed successfully, hence many women failed and resorted to bottle-feeding. Does he intend to make you follow the same advise as his mother? Back then they weaned babies onto solids at 4 months old. Now they know better and have realized that before 6 months can really affect the body permanently (and many adults ARE suffering the affects). Does he intend on making you feed him at 4 months old? Back then they thought it kept babies happy to be surrounded by toys in the crib. Now they know that is often fatal. Does he intend on making sure your son is surrounded by teddy bears just like many people used to? The bottom line is that some things are different. Circumcision is one of them.
Put simply, you not putting your baby boy through the pain and trauma has NOTHING to do with your husband's penis. It's not about hang-ups or sexual preferences, it's about good PARENTING.
Where can I find replacement blocks for a Fisher-Price toy?
natashaier
I recently bought my daughter a Fisher-Price Stack 'n Surprise Blocks Songs 'n Smiles Sillytown. I got it on sale at Toys R Us about a month ago for $25. My husband brought it to his mom's house for our daughter to play with while she stayed over there for a couple hours, and her cousin took all of the pieces to his house and lost them. She now only has 3 blocks left! The cheapest price I found for this toy was $68 on amazon, and all I need is a couple of blocks. I checked ebay, nothing! This toy is completely out of stock everywhere and probably discontinued! Will I be able to find replacement blocks anywhere??
Answer
Yes the set was discontinued in 2010. If you visit the Fisher Price web page for this particular toy, on the right hand side, there will be a shopping cart. Select United States in the drop down menu. http://service.mattel.com/us/product_detail.asp?id=T3174&Ntt=T3174&Pn=1&Brand=Fisher-Price+Infant+Toys&Cat=Stack+'n+Surprise+Blocks
Then on the shopping page, select Baby Gear under Fisher Price. Then select Infant Toys. Then select Other Infant Toys. Then select Stack N Surprise Blocks Peek A Boo Choo Choo. You can purchase replacement blocks that are compatible with all Stack N Surprise toys. They run $9 a set. Hopefully this direct link will work, but if not, I hope my directions above explain how to get there. https://store.mattel.com/CatalogBrowser.aspx?cmd=local&cat=140&sec=9761
Yes the set was discontinued in 2010. If you visit the Fisher Price web page for this particular toy, on the right hand side, there will be a shopping cart. Select United States in the drop down menu. http://service.mattel.com/us/product_detail.asp?id=T3174&Ntt=T3174&Pn=1&Brand=Fisher-Price+Infant+Toys&Cat=Stack+'n+Surprise+Blocks
Then on the shopping page, select Baby Gear under Fisher Price. Then select Infant Toys. Then select Other Infant Toys. Then select Stack N Surprise Blocks Peek A Boo Choo Choo. You can purchase replacement blocks that are compatible with all Stack N Surprise toys. They run $9 a set. Hopefully this direct link will work, but if not, I hope my directions above explain how to get there. https://store.mattel.com/CatalogBrowser.aspx?cmd=local&cat=140&sec=9761
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