Monday, October 7, 2013

What specific things should parents do to foster a strong work ethic & love of learning in their children?

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Margaret L


How early would you start and exactly what would you do.


Answer
THIS IS LONG BUT REALLY WORTH READING!

I'll try to keep this as short as I can...

1. start as young as possible. If your child is still an infant, get yourself into good habits. Be what you want your child to be- because that's what happens, your kids really will grow up to be just like you and your spouse. SET A GOOD EXAMPLE! If you want your child to care about what's happening in the world- get into the habit of watching CNN. If there's something interesting in the news, share it with your child. Kids are naturally curious.

2. Many parents go to work for 8-10 hours a day and think that is a good example of work ethic for their kid: it's not. Kid's don't understand how hard you actually work unless they see it and do it themselves. When I was a kid, I thought my dad was so lucky to go to his huge office that always had fresh bagels and doughnuts and I had to be in school. When he took me to Daughter to Work day and had me helping him with his job for all 10 hours I really understood why he came home exhasted some nights! You need to SHOW your kid how hard you work, not just tell them or expect them to understand. Kids also need a lot of reminding-even the smartest ones.

3. Nurture, Nurture, Nurture! Make learning a fun and exciting thing that you do together. You can do many fun educational activities together- here is a small list of things I enjoyed doing with my parents:
1. Home science kits. You can find these almost any where- national geographic even has a series of them at Target. I loved, loved, loved doing science exparements when I was a kid (and ended up majoring in Biochemistry in college- coincedience? I think not)
2. Read to your child. It doesn't matter if it's Harry Potter, Goosebumps, Award winning children's books- whatever interestes your kid.
3. Rent/tivo good documentaries.

4. Teach them how rewarding it is to get good grades.
One system my parents used were those old fashioned star stickers. If I got anything below an 80% I got no sticker. 80-85 I got a blue sticker, 85-90 green, and so on. If I got 100% I got a silver sticker and if I got extra credit I got a gold sticker. Each color sticker was worth points-Gold being the highest. My parents would set up activities worth different amounts of points. Going to the movies cost less points than going to the water park, etc. If I got mostly A's and saved my points, I got to go to Disney land. By God I worked hard and saved my points and we went. The reason my parents used activities instead of toys was so I could also learn about money.

5. Reward your kid for a job well done- don't reward your kid for something they are expected to do. If your child keeps his room clean- good for him. If he goes out of his way to re-organize his desk (which you might want to suggest) reward him with money. Your child will learn that he benefits from really working hard at things and not just stopping at the basics. Once you start suggesting things to do as extras, he'll start finding things to do on his own. When I was 14, my parents would pay me if I had dinner made for them when they got home and would tip me if I cleaned up my mess. I was a mini Martha Stewart before I was even in HS. I even went out of my way to clean up dog poop because I really wanted an expensive pair of shoes.

It doesn't matter if you have money to blow on your child- don't spoil them. Buy them enough to keep them content and make them work for anything extra. It's not child abuse to only buy them two video games or stop after buying two dolls.

Make it a way of life for your whole family- not just something you focus on when it comes to your child. Step up your game- so to speak- you'll benefit from just doing that.

A few intereting things about my life to prove that you grow up to be like your parents:

My dad bought his first house at 19- I bought mine at 20
Both of my parents used to read at night before bed- I read in bed most nights and now my 21mo old daughter plays with books more than any of her toys.
My dad and a friend started a business. Curious- I married a business owner and after studying Biochemistry in college, I ended up going into business for myself.
Both of my parents don't go out with friends they much, they prefer to stay in. Now that I'm married I find myself doing the same.

Good luck!

What To Expect At Emergency Custody Hearing?




Nathan


So I Have Joint Custody With My 6 Year Old Daughters Mother. Just Gained It Nov. 14, 2012. I Served My Daughters Mother With Emergency Custody Because My Daughter Told Me For The Second Time That Her Mother Is Smoking Weed In Front Of Her Again, (she can completely describe what weed looks like and how it is smoked) And ever since i was awarded Joint her mom isnt around anymore and that her Grandma is watching her while her mom goes to her boyfriends almost everyday. Her response was obviously deny deny. (judge denied my order because waiting on court date for more info, which is 1/30/13) I am working Full time, With a part time job and Working the navy reserves also. She is going to school part time. So her response was that i told my daughter to say those things and that if she said those i would by her toys. She also put a copy of her cannabis card with her response. Her Mother printed a small letter saying she is renting a room from her sister in law. The only brother she has is some guy that did time in jail or prison for raping little kids but im not sure that is the same person. My daughter told me 1/20/13 that her mom doesnt live with her, and only spends the night when her Grandma works late, and that her mom and grandma told her if she doesnt lie she wont see her mom anymore. Her Grandma Told ME "i pray for you to grow up" is that degrading? Also November 28th My girlfriends moms car was stolen. She has no idea who took it. My daughters mom Wrote me a text at 1 in the morning before any of us new it was stolen saying " a police officer called me saying that your girlfriends moms car was in an accident". Right then we called my gfs mom and she didnt know what we were talking about. i called non emergency and the operator told me that there is no way that a police officer would call her and give her any of that information. can that be used in court? i have a 2 inch binder full of emails texts timelines etc. Santa Clara County says any piece of information or evidence requires 3 copies 1 for me, the judge and the other parent. Do i need to make 3 copies of everything? Should i get statements from my girlfriends family of both the times my daughter told me about the weed situation? Anything Will help please? I cant afford a lawyer, i have a 1 bedroom studio apartment that i am paying for plus 2 infants that are also mine that live with me and my girlfriend that i also take care of. Another concern is that if shes not working then how is she able to prescribe herself with weed? Child Support? please please anyone help me.


Answer
This is way too involved to make a comment on the proceedings itself.

What I see is that you're concerned about smoking the weed and your ex is saying you fabricated the story and told your daughter what to say. That's called coaching the witness.

At the moment it appears that you have a stalemate. Her word against yours. You need hard evidence to support your claim in order to defeat her argument.

What I suggest you do is contact Children's Services immediately and complain that your daughter is being subjected to unhealthy living conditions. The idea is to have CS inspect your daughter's home so that evidence of the weed can be discovered, giving you formal evidence to present to the court.




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